Great communication begins with connection.
Oprah Winfrey
When thinking about communication, the same rules apply to everybody. What drives effective communication is empathy and empathic listening skills. When using these skills, understanding Millennials, Gen-Z and their values have a productive effect on conversation. This in turn provides auspicious growth all around and most importantly, connection.
The younger generations want to be heard, they want to contribute, and more than any other generation they want to be regarded, coached and mentored.
Understanding that our generation laid the bricks of the home that houses the up and coming generations is essential in creating empathy for them. Recognizing the inherent value in the differences between generations is also important. There is a choice to be made when it comes to dealing with others and this choice begins in the way we regard ourselves, and in turn, how we regard others.
Reframing is a psychological technique that helps us view experiences, events, ideas, and concepts in ways that help us find a more positive outlook. Reframing is an artful skill that is even easier to access in our 50s and beyond. Hindsight, or looking back at experiences with 20-20 understanding, helps us build this reframing muscle in ways that we were not able to do before this stage in our lives.
Taking a breath or even walking away for a few minutes when overwhelmed is a wonderful skill
Sara Pelaez
Knowledge and experience together become a powerful combination that spearheads wisdom.
Becoming responsive rather than reactive, which involves emotional self-regulation, is another component of what makes communication effective. Taking a breath or even walking away for a few minutes when overwhelmed is a wonderful skill to build when communicating in challenging situations and with people that we may not completely understand.
Acting “as-if” is another magical skill.
Let me explain what I mean by this: internally, we all authentically feel loving, empathetic, kind and gentle-hearted. When we let the outside match the inside by consciously choosing to express these emotions, we create a loving environment that feeds into itself.
Because our most authentic core is made of all kinds of gooey-soft stuff––you know––like love. Acting loving; in other words, acting “as-if” towards those we are trying to connect with is communicating with grace and groundedness, even if we are not quite feeling loving, empathetic or kind in the moment.
If you don’t connect, they wont care.
Sara Pelaez
Acting “as-if” also provides us the opportunity to take pause, change our actions, and achieve without being perfect. Practicing this state of feeling can in fact become a habit.
An example:
Queenager mom says, “Honey, please take out the garbage.” To which Millennial/Gen-Z son says: “I’m not doing that!”
To which the mom may say one of two things:
- “As long as you live under my roof, you will be a contributing member of this household”
or, she can respond with - “How come?”
In the second option, the mom is using her “as-if” skill by behaving as if she was being understanding, when what she really might feel is disrespected by her son’s reaction.
Her Millennial/Gen-Z son then reveals his reasoning to her, saying, “We have not separated the items to the recycling bin.”
From here, they can decide on how to take action together and—with a potentially fraught situation calmed—real connection happens.
Talking with the intention to understand gets you better results because that is when the other person feels heard. But our general attitude is to just get it done/I don’t have time. To which I say, “If you don’t connect, they wont care.”
You will see a bountiful return on your efforts by consistently and purposefully practicing these skills. Wishing you connection and growth.
