My children are grown up.
How do I know this?
They are out of the proverbial nest. They are off the payroll. They are full-fledged legal adults. They pay their own taxes.
They have jobs. They have rent that I don’t help them pay. They have spouses.
But I still help them financially with things like car insurance and cell phone bills (It’s a family plan after all–one to which my kids added their significant others’ phones and apple watches, but that just makes economic sense). When we go out to dinner, I pick up the tab as my father did for me (and still does!).
The phrase “adult children” could be the most confounding oxymoron of all time.
Sometimes I feel like they still need guidance. I will hear them say something that makes no sense at all in the real world. I do feel a need to correct, guide, offer advice. But that’s where it ends.
If they choose not to take my advice, that’s up to them. And often I will keep my mouth shut as parenting expert Dawn Lantero advises in her post on setting boundaries with adult children.
However, I also do still remind them to call their grandparents, text their siblings, be nice to each other. I scold them when they do something that goes against what I taught them as they grew up (vaping, anyone? Ugh!). I still send them little articles that I think will help them become even more mature adults than they already are or learn something new
I knew my kids were truly grown up when I realized their driving reflexes were better than mine. Their eyesight and hearing is better than mine. And when they began to make decisions for their own well being, such as where to live, when to travel, how to take care of their own health, etc., I knew for sure they were grown ups.
But what really and truly did the trick was when they insisted on paying for their own cell phone and car insurance and offering to pick up the check when we go out to dinner. I don’t let them, but the fact that they offered makes me realize they are thinking like real grown ups.
That being stated, even though my kids are truly grown up, they’re still my babies and always will be. And I’ll still be picking up that dinner check until the day I don’t know how to any more.
