Under The Covers Book Club

Congratulations! You are off the wait list and now a full-fledged member of the Under the Covers book club! You will be contacted soon with our next book selection and meeting place. In the meantime, I wanted to give you some pointers to make your membership successful.

First off, please be punctual. We start drinking wine and bragging about our lives promptly at 7:30 pm. Our author presentation starts promptly at 8 pm.

If you are a presenter, please prepare an author bio that delves much deeper than the book cover synopsis. We are especially interested in where the author went to school and who he/she was influenced by so we can all nod our heads signaling how well-read we are. Any other juicy details about their life such as pending lawsuits, who bought the film rights and book tour bad behavior are always tantalizing tidbits that we love.

Please do not attend a meeting if you have not read at least half of the book.

It has been our experience that those members who only come to drink wine and have not bothered to read the book tend to partake in “side bar” conversations. Those conversations draw away attention from the presenter. Some of our most devoted members outline their presentations in Power Point and embed You Tube videos or NPR interviews. These “side bar conversations “can crush their ego and result in a barrage of side bar texts the next day.

Speaking of side bar conversations, who you choose to sit next to is not to be taken lightly. As with most groups of women over age 50, we have a lot to say and few who will listen to us. Be aware of who is going through what and how much tolerance you have.

For instance, can you really listen to Patty talk about her Myers-Brigg’s results or Shelia sharing her pelvic therapy take-a-ways or Ginny talk about how her Somatic Practitioner therapist cured her peri-menopausal alopecia?

Do you have any experience with a Talking Stick? I wore socks that said STOP TALKING when everyone was talking over each other but quickly realized no one was looking at my calves. The Talking Stick has been a game changer for us. I advise practicing your Talking Stick passing technique before attending so you do not have any mishaps. You don’t want to be the one to spill Cab on Connie’s new sofa.

Phone use during meetings is an unspoken annoyance for some members, even if you are looking up something pertaining to the book discussion. This is considered a side bar swiping. Our members are also sensitive to non-libation hand movements and noise. So, if you must knit, please use rubber knitting needles.

When it is your time to choose a book, please present three non-Oprah options. Don’t be fazed when most selections are received with “I already read it” or “It is on my bed side table” remarks. This is just an opportunity to boast about our literary voraciousness and something you will get used to. Also, do not pick a book written by an old white guy. This has been frowned upon since 2018.

When you host, please do not serve wine rack cast-offs, any vintage from a vineyard in Illinois or Michigan or cheap wine. We all remember Lynn’s Charles Shaw Holiday Party hangover in 2012.

If you are reading a New York Times review and do not know how to pronounce a word correctly, no worries, you will be corrected.

Serve a few light snacks and have an option for those who are pretending to be gluten or dairy intolerant.

Under the Covers does not have an official end time. Some hosts crack open a Beaujolais and let their guard down at 10 pm and others start doing the dishes as a subtle reminder to get the hell out as they must work the next day.

Again, welcome to the Under the Covers family! We look forward to seeing where you live, how your house is decorated and most importantly, what authors you have on your bookshelf!