Menopause- My Super Power: DC and Marvel Characters Have Nothing on ME!

Each year, my employer provides all its employees a health screening consisting of a number of different blood work lab tests. I always check all of the free boxes, no matter what the test: TSH, D3, Testosterone level ….oh wait … that is the male hormone level. I don’t need that one!

When I first started back to work after taking some time off to stay home with children, I was NOWHERE near menopause. Since the hormonal level check for Menopause was free, I always checked that box anyway. I would get the written report back stating, “NOT in Menopause.”

For a good amount of years in my 40’s I was registering as PERIMENOPAUSAL (Just the start of Menopause, not the full-on experience).

Until the fateful year when I had arrived.

I still remember the report which described the symptoms of Menopause – most of which I had been enduring for years prior to the official diagnosis:

•HOT FLASHES and night sweats
•Sleepless nights
•Your body changing into something you DON’T recognize
•Anxiety
•Joint pain

The list did not seem to end!

But what struck me most that year was stated in the report: “Menopause lands when most women are experiencing empty nests and aging parents.” That definitely summed-up the time of life I was in.

The report ended with the statement that Menopausal Symptoms can last between 2-8 years. F*CK–are you kidding me?!

I found the only thing which got me through Menopause was having the mind-set that Menopause is my own SUPER POWER and it’s teaching me new skills.

Hot Flashes and Night Sweats

While certainly not pleasant (I haven’t found any of the symptoms of Menopause to be pleasant), hot flashes and night sweats have taught me to breathe deeply and embrace the power of the moment.

This inevitably would occur when I was talking to someone at work, usually a much younger male teacher.

Lucy Dallman

Hot flashes for me started to appear as facial flushes. Out of nowhere a heat wave would pass up from my chest, rising through my neck and land in my checks. This inevitably would occur when I was talking to someone at work, usually a much younger male teacher.

Explaining a sudden red face is just not even possible in the 2-minute passing periods teachers have in which to chat with fellow teachers. Hot flashes at their worst were full on, full body, sweat lodge experiences which lasted a good 30 seconds.

That does not sound like a long time. BUT it is – stop reading and start counting – one-one thousand, two-one thousand.

I found the most annoying of these incidences to be the hot flash which woke me at two in the morning, causing me to sweat through any PJs I wore and soak the sheets on which I was sleeping, making it impossible to roll over and go back to sleep.

I discovered through trial and error that drinking any kind of alcohol made the hot flashes much more intense. If I knew in my 30’s I would not be able to drink wine in my late 40’s early 50’s I would have drunk A LOT more wine!

Deep breathing is something I struggle with. I naturally go full steam almost all of the time. SO stopping to deep breathe is something I have to practice and remind myself to do.

I have practiced yoga since my 20’s. I can breathe deeply while in a yoga class. Something I had learned in yoga, but never had to practice on a regular basis off the mat was a deep breath and how beneficial it is within a moment. Even a hot flash moment. So I liken those hot flash moments to the DC/ Marvel character- The FLASH.

“The Flash”- I am not sure which Comic series he is part of – But he does his thing in just a moment. I am not going to die because I am too hot. I am just going to be uncomfortable for a moment. Many, many humans endure more uncomfortable moments than my temporary hot flash.

So, I do my best to breathe deeply, wear light clothing and have ice nearby at all times.

Sleepless Nights

Two to five o’clock a.m. seems to be the bewitching hours. I fall asleep just fine. Then two a.m. rolls around and I am wide awake!

Some nights I toss and turn: meditating, counting backwards from 100, breathing deeply into my toes and up through my spine and out the top of my head. I’ve tried Melatonin, Magnesium and Calcium supplements, and occasionally a Tylenol PM (when I just can’t take it anymore).

My super-power when I am in one of my sleepless night cycles is to ACCEPT that I am going to be up for a while. I turn on my infrared head lamp (hoping not to disturb my husband) and I read.

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I am getting twice the amount of reading in as compared with any other time in my life. I also find that jet-lag while traveling has become a non-issue.

While I am not super productive after a sleepless night. I can function. I am so glad there are SO many great books in this world to read and so many faraway places to explore.

My Body Morphing Into Something I Don’t Recognize

The DC and Marvel movies have become quite popular. The Incredible Hulk and Spiderman are examples of bodies that have dramatically changed to create Super-Heroes. The popularity of these fictional characters seems to have grown exponentially in recent years.

When I burst out of my clothing, is anyone cheering for me?

Lucy Dallman

Has my popularity increased? Have the powers that be, deemed me a Super-Hero to endure a body I don’t recognize? When I burst out of my clothing, is anyone cheering for me?

OK so I don’t save anyone but myself from the evils of the world. And no law enforcement agencies are calling on my Super-Powers. BUT living in a body in which I am suddenly not comfortable has taught me empathy.

I look at the physical challenges of disabled people and the elderly in a new light. I am NOT saying that Menopausal symptoms compare to the physical challenges of the disabled. I am just more empathetic. I am trying to be kind to myself through this transition in life. Which in turn I find for me helps me extend that kindness to others.

Joint Pain

I have been active all my life. So, when this Super-Power revealed itself I thought I was just overdoing it. Why is my knee suddenly and inexplicably giving out? Why do my shoulders hurt all the time? Hips hurting after a bike ride-HUH?

After some research I came to the conclusion that YES this is another symptom of “The Change.” Consequentially, I have learned to walk instead run. I choose Restorative Yoga instead of Power. I have gone back to a swimming practice which I reveled in during childhood.

All of these new-found activities are more meditative. Which is something I definitely need if I want to control the last of my Menopause Super-Powers.

Anxiety

Just as the comic book Super-Heroes have to learn to control their powers, it took years of “Menopause training” for me to semi-control the symptoms of anxiety. This Super-Power is doubly strong during Menopause.

Oh anxiety – please stop!

Lucy Dallman

Going back to the medical report which confirmed my Menopause, I was one of those women who found themselves sending children off into the world at the same time my parents needed medical attention. And, I also gained two beautiful granddaughters who now who call me Lu Lu.

I miss those grand girls so much sometimes it hurts. Which is weird – probably part of my anxiety – a heightened sense of sadness – because I don’t remember missing my own babies as they grew-up!

All that said, my kids are launched and all doing well. So WHY am I so sad that we all have separate lives and are all together maybe once a year? It is what is supposed to happen – everyone is healthy and happy. Oh anxiety – please stop!

The other end of the life spectrum which hit the same time my Menopause symptoms struck was the all-encompassing worry of aging parents. My husband’s father spent the last four and a half years of his life in a hospital bed recognizing no one but his wife.

My father slowly deteriorated both mentally and physically the last three years of his life.

The weekly visits, coordinating care for the dying and the spouse, meal delivery, shopping in the medical equipment aisle, not to mention doctor visits and the many phone calls I had to coordinate between agencies, my parents and my siblings was never-ending. All that on top of saying good-bye to my wonderfully kind father, who provided me with so much in my lifetime was exhausting and so anxiety producing.

My biggest lesson from anxiety is that it comes from a place of fear. Fear of dying, of course, but really a fear of:

•How am I going to live my life now that it is mostly my own?
•How do I make choices about where to go, who to spend my time with?
•How will I live a full life with whatever time I have left here on this earth?”

But, anxiety has taught me self-care for me is crucial.

Like Superman, fighting off the drain of cryptonite, I find acupuncture, massage, meditation, swimming and just plain breathing helps me control anxiety.

This Too Shall Pass

Like everything in life, Menopause is a stage which I will pass through. It may not be a particularly pleasant stage of life. But, I will make it through.

So, I breathe. And I move. And I try to make the best of my Super-Powers. I think one of my next life adventures will be to create a Menopause Super-Powers costume. I am thinking a pink and orange cape will do — with a giant sparkling crown on top of my head.